Pop-Singer Rihanna recently showed up to collect an award from The Council of Fashion Designers of America in a dress composed of a glittery fishnet that left nothing to the imagination. And because of her stature in American and International culture and the music industry, most of the photos from the event went out over the internet uncensored. In the 1960s, Hugh Hefner was arrested for printing photographs of Jayne Mansfield wearing quite a bit more clothes. But, tastes and morals have changed, and women (and men) are willing to be exploited to a greater degree. Why?
In most of her interviews, Rihanna has been extremely forthcoming about her odd behavior and perverse desires. The singer even admitted that her “masochistic” side could be linked to the abuse she witnessed as a child – and being slapped by her father. “I think I’m a bit masochistic, [the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, and humiliation] and I did not realize it until recently. I think that is common in people who witnessed abuse in their childhood.” Later she described some of the violence she experienced as a young girl: “He [her father] slapped me so hard,” she said. “I ran home with his handprint on me. I couldn't believe it. My mother saw my face, how traumatized I was. You know how, when you know you did something wrong, and you deserve to get beat? This was out of nowhere.” In fact, her entire upbringing was similarly unstructured and twisted - as her dad was a crack cocaine addict and the father of three other children with three different women. She remembered: “It’s not great memories…”
Therefore, when we applaud the strange goings on of Rihanna, and others like her, we are celebrating the dysfunctional, and actually mentally ill, actions of an adult survivor of child abuse. Why do we do this? Like Rihanna herself, we are trying to deal with our own memories and wounds of either mental or physical abuse, or early exposure to pornography. And, by worshipping a figure like Rihanna, we are internally trying to make the abuse seem normal; to make like to wasn’t all that bad; and that we are not the only ones. It’s a sort of misery loves company syndrome. Except, in a sense, while realizing how messed up we are – we still don’t actually understand the ramifications of it all. Most tragically, we cannot see a life outside of the pleasure/pain prison. And, as collaborators, we extend this torture by our adoration and by supporting a culture which makes this completely acceptable.