“The soul is incapable of truly acquiring control of the passions and restriction of the inordinate appetites without forgetting and withdrawing from the sources of these emotions. Disturbances never arise in a soul; unless through the apprehensions of the memory. When all things are forgotten, nothing disturbs the peace or stirs the appetites. As the saying goes: What the eye doesn’t see, the heart doesn’t want.” ~ St. John of the Cross
One of the most important ideas that John of the Cross imparts in this lesson is that, in order to overcome temptations, one must make the conscious decision to withdraw from engaging with pleasurable “triggers.” In the case of erotic material, this means avoiding foreseeable and circumstantial pitfalls. For instance, if a person searches on-line using terms such as “porn,” “sex,” or “naked,” it’s inevitable that pornographic material will appear on your computer screen. This is an example of a foreseeable trigger. Meaning, the action taken has a very high likelihood of exposing oneself to excitable content. Others, that are somewhat less obvious, but still foreseeable pitfalls, would be: attending an R or PG-13-rated movie, watching a music video, or going to the beach. If one would transverse into these dangerous areas - the mind and senses must already have been fortified by a disciplined prayer life and stout adherence to maintaining custody of the eyes. This entails a strong will-power and an ability to detach from the surroundings: a glimpse of breast in a film, semi-pornographic images in a Youtube video, or a girl walking by the shore in a thong bikini. For my part, I would not tempt myself to such an extent, and I would aggressively avoid these situations. Nevertheless, this is a foreseeable circumstance that, if not evaded, must be approached with caution. Always remember: small ventures into temptation always lead to major falls.
The second type of withdrawal suggested by John of the Cross are those circumstantial pitfalls that we can not often foresee. This may include: seeing a sexualized commercial during a football game, a scantily clad woman at the grocery store, or a suggestive billboard. But, even here, forbearance is not an impossibility; as its oftentimes predictable that commercials during sporting events feature bosomy cheerleaders, models, and off-color jokes; when in a public place, and seeing an inappropriately dressed women, or man for that matter, the first look is instinctual and practically inescapable, but the second look is a decision on our part - at that point we have given into the temptation. The same goes for all the “pop-ups” that assault our sanity on a daily basis: side-bar internet ads, loud and loose overheard cell phone conversations, and an endless avalanche of news stories revolving around kids taking X-rated selfies and celebrities who constantly flash the cameras. Consequently, at some point, one must make the choice to withdraw and disengage: read a book instead of watching television, go for a walk instead of surfing the internet, or pray when the commonplace seems overpowering. When we are lonely, hurt, or troubled, and we turn to God, instead of material diversions, then we have truly withdrawal from a corrupted world and embraced the taintless of the eternal.