Speaking of St. Joseph the Worker, St. Josemaria Escriva said: “He [Joseph] was not one for easy solutions and little miracles, but a man of perseverance, effort and, when needed, ingenuity. The Christian knows that God works miracles, that he did them centuries ago, that he has continued doing them since, and that he still works them now, because ‘the Lord's hand is not shortened.’ But miracles are a sign of the saving power of God, not a cure for incompetence nor an easy way to dodge effort. The ‘miracle’ which God asks of you is to persevere in your christian and divine vocation, sanctifying each day’s work: the miracle of turning the prose of each day into heroic verse by the love which you put into your ordinary work. God waits for you there. He expects you to be a responsible person, with the zeal of an apostle and the competence of a good worker.”
A frequent e-mail that I receive is a desperate plea for help and advice; the writer explains how he has been plagued with years of porn and sex addiction: he prays to God for a complete removal of these scourges, feels that his prayers go unanswered, and, then, endlessly spins in a mire of frequent Confessions, lapses and relapses, guilt, shame and eventual discouragement and depression. Oftentimes, I can’t relate, because I never really had this sort of experience with Jesus. Perhaps, because I was so desperate and fearful, I was often too scared to ask Jesus for anything. I just tended to cower. Also, during those times in my recovery, I was so sick that I just wanted to live. A constant ejaculation that I recited over and over again was: “Lord, give me strength!” Most of the time I never thought about an overall healing, I just wanted to see another day.
Therefore, to those who write to me, I often give them the following advice: “Pray for perseverance.” Because the strength to continue is the greatest miracle. For, oftentimes, with sex addictions, the backsliding is inherent and completely demoralizing. The devil uses the tool of defeat and dejection to keep someone locked into their sins; St. Joseph the Worker is the model that the demons would like to hide. He is the harbinger of determination and hope; to be methodical, dauntless, and stout. To refrain from complaints as much as possible, to remain humble, to admit that we are powerless without the intercession and guidance of God, and to always keep working. As, with us men, for the most part, we have been brain-washing ourselves with porn for many years- the damage has taken much time to accumulate. Henceforth, much time and effort will be required to overcome it. And, yes, it will also involve pain; something that we all want to avoid. But, it’s a necessary requirement for liberation and eventual purification. Its hard work and it’s usually unpleasant. But, if we approach all our labors with an open heart – the Lord will ease our burden. Therefore, the most important attributes when working towards sexual sobriety, the first is humility – to realize that we are nothing without Our Lord Jesus Christ; to steadfastly ask Jesus for strength, to praise Him for the good He has done for us; and to never give up.
Author’s note: The painting above by Mario Bogani of Jesus and Joseph in the Carpenter’s Shop is rife with an air of steely determination; notice the depiction of their eyes. Their body postures are solidly controlled and upright, not hunched over and labored. There is an ease to their manner; they work, but they are not burdened; they are resolute, but at ease; they are silent, but they have joy.