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| "Battle Cry" (1955) |
Back in the early 1990s, when I finally abandoned any belief that Jesus was the Son of God, one of my favorite songs was “Losing My Religion” by REM. It was supremely melancholy in a completely self-centered sort of way. It was somewhat liberating too: leaving behind whatever semblance of Catholicism that still remained within me. I was moving on. Only, throwing it all off was not difficult - as the religious instruction I received as a child was pretty light; it was like changing one outfit for another. A different day, a different style and mood. What brought all this back to mind? I was watching Catholic television programming the other day, and really made a concerted effort to get into it and listen. But, every show was so compartmentalized. Every speaker took on his specialization. I was thoroughly perplexed and bored. None of it spoke to me. That brought back the REM song. It seemed as if religion was something beyond the person. Something you thought about, an area of interest, a college course. When I came back to the Church, a decade later, I wondered what had changed. Some still clung to the “innovations” and progressivism of the 70s and 80s, while others retreated into a more conservative cluster of like-minded Catholics. As an ex-gay porn actor, I felt as if I fitted nowhere. I wanted the strict life-doctrine of the Apostolic Church, but not the rigid uncharity of the traditionalists. I was thoroughly bemused, until a newly ordained priest showed me that the Truth of God can be delivered with kindness. And, this strikes to the heart of why the Catholic message nowadays often misses the mark.
Over the Memorial Day Holiday, TCM Channel played one War film after another. As a devotee of any movie made before the mid-60s, I loved them all. In those days, especially, during World War II, Hollywood was far less narcissistic. The entire World felt as if it were tottering upon the edge. American motion pictures clearly took sides against the Fascism of Nazi Germany and the expansionism of Imperial Japan. During the credits of many films from that era, were listed the numerous military consultants and advisors used during production. There was a level of legitimacy. One aspect of them, that I also found remarkable, was the rather authentic looking scenes of military training. Those which depicted the drafted recruits coming into their various State-side camps gave an interesting view of how desperate the situation had become. Specialization was done. Men were basically taught discipline, how to become a cohesive whole, follow orders, hold a weapon, and how to survive. Then, they were sent to the front. Although their drill-instructors were usually harsh, and outwardly appearing, uncaring, after all was over, the men came to truly love them. I see the contemporary state of the world in similar terms. We are at War. But, some of the Church seems stuck in peace-time: with endless philosophizing. While the theology surrounding various points of Catholic History and Dogma are oftentimes fascinating: does it help the everyday man stay alive? Are they armed? I advocate a Spiritual form of combat training: equipping men and women with the basic Truths of the Faith. I saw far too many of my friends die; without a shot ever being fired. There were enough causalities. For, they were utterly unprepared.