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I Was Not Born Gay: Life After Porn and Homosexuality
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Porn Study Finds That Males Are Becoming Reliant on Perversity
A new study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior found that porn has become “a primary source of sexual education” that is embedding new codes of sexual behavior in young men. The survey of 487 American males of college age indicates that “the more pornography a man watches, the more likely he was to use it during sex, request particular pornographic sex acts of his partner, deliberately conjure images of pornography during sex to maintain arousal, and have concerns over his own sexual performance and body image. Further, higher pornography use was negatively associated with enjoying sexually intimate behaviors with a partner.”
Author’s note: The porn addiction pandemic has inadvertently generated a sort of aversion therapy gone haywire; the opposite of what porn sells – a fantasy world of endless sexual pleasure and perverse excesses that has actually created, not the symbolic macho-man (hyper-masculine, ravenous, and always equipped) from the golden-age of porn in the 1970s, but a peevish impotent male filled with doubts, hang-ups, and fears. In essence, porn constructs the perfect porn consumer: a person so reliant upon pornography that they are unable to function sexually without it – a slave.
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The Approaching Gay Epidemic: The Horror of AIDS, Part II
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Gonorrhea and Chlamydia — Proportion of MSM* Attending STD Clinics Testing Positive for Gonorrhea and Chlamydia, STD Surveillance Network (SSuN), 2013 |
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Neisseria gonorrhoeae — Percentage of Urethral Isolates Obtained from MSM* Attending STD Clinics, by Site, Gonococcal Isolate Surveillance Project (GISP), 1990–2013 |
Compared to women and men who have sex with women only, gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men (collectively known as MSM) are at increased risk for STDs and antimicrobial resistance:
Gonorrhea and Chlamydial Infection
In 2013, the proportion of MSM who tested positive for gonorrhea and chlamydia at STD clinics varied by site. A larger proportion of MSM who visited STD clinics tested positive for gonorrhea than tested positive for chlamydia in all cities except Birmingham, Denver, and Hartford/New Haven (where the proportion for chlamydia was higher).
Across the participating sites, 20,955 MSM were tested for gonorrhea and 20,710 MSM were tested for chlamydia. The median site-specific gonorrhea prevalence was 16.9% (range by site: 10.4%–28.1%). The median site-specific chlamydia prevalence was 15.2% (range by site: 7.4%–30.7%). For this report, a person who tested positive for gonorrhea or chlamydia more than one time in a year was counted only once for each infection.
Co-infection of Primary and Secondary (P&S) Syphilis and HIV
Among MSM who presented to seven clinics with P&S syphilis infection in 2013, the proportion who were also infected with HIV ranged from 15.8% in Los Angeles to 47.4% in Philadelphia. The median site-specific proportion of MSM co-infected with HIV (45.5%) was comparable to the proportion of co-infection in MSM observed in 2013 case report data (51.6%)
HIV status and STDs
Among MSM visiting STD clinics, prevalence of STDs was higher among HIV-positive MSM than among HIV-negative MSM. The prevalence of P&S syphilis was 9.0% among HIV-positive MSM and 2.6% among HIV-negative MSM. Among HIV-positive MSM, urethral gonorrhea positivity was 15.0%, pharyngeal gonorrhea positivity was 10.0%, and rectal gonorrhea positivity was 16.4% (compared to 10.1%, 7.4%, and 8.9%, respectively, among HIV-negative MSM). Among HIV-positive MSM, urethral chlamydia positivity was 7.6% and rectal chlamydia positivity was 22.2% (compared to 7.1% and 11.4%, respectively, among HIV-negative MSM).
Nationally Notifiable Syphilis Surveillance Data
P&S syphilis among MSM has been increasing since at least 2000. In 33 areas reporting sex of partner data for 70% or more of cases of P&S syphilis each year during 2007–2013, cases among MSM increased 7% during 2012–2013. In 2013, MSM accounted for 75% of all P&S syphilis cases in 49 states and the District of Columbia that provided information about sex of sex partners. MSM accounted for more cases than MSW or women in all racial and ethnic groups.
Gonococcal Isolate Surveillance Project
GISP is a national sentinel surveillance system designed to monitor trends in antimicrobial susceptibilities of N. gonorrhoeae strains in the United States. Overall, the proportion of isolates from MSM in selected STD clinics from GISP sentinel sites has increased steadily, from 4.6% in 1990 to 35.1% in 2013. GISP has demonstrated that gonococcal isolates from MSM are more likely to exhibit antimicrobial resistance than isolates from MSW.
Author’s note: Despite these alarming findings, the gay media (and the highly gay-supportive main-stream news outlets) almost unanimously refuse to report on the CDC study; instead, they parade such well-scrubbed, athletic, and healthy looking gay specimens as Robbie Rogers (just recently, GQ grilled Rogers about his first homosexual experience – all amid laughter and joviality) before the cameras of the world; but, like when pop-culture was obsessed with uninhibited dancing homosexuals at Studio 54, The Village People, and Billy Crystal’s nonsensical gay character on “Soap,” at the advent of the AIDS crisis, this avoidance will come back to haunt us all.
And, the truth is shocking: in some cities as high as 28% of the gay population tested positive for gonorrhea and as much as 30% tested positive for chlamydia. Almost half of those gay men who tested positive for HIV also tested positive for syphilis; in fact, gay men (who make up between 2-4% of the total US population) accounted for 75% of all syphilis infections. Lastly, the statistic which horrifies me the most: the percentage of gay men who tested positive for drug-resistant gonorrhea increased from 4.6% in 1990 to 35.1% in 2013; Antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea has been noted by epidemiologists; beginning in the 1940s, gonorrhea was treated with penicillin, but doses had to be continually increased in order to remain effective, and, by the ’70s, penicillin- and tetracycline-resistant gonorrhea emerged in the Pacific Basin. These resistant strains then spread to Hawaii, California, the rest of the United States, and Europe. Fluoroquinolones were the next line of defense, but soon resistance to this antibiotic emerged as well. Since 2007, standard treatment has been third-generation cephalosporins, such as ceftriaxone, which are considered to be our “last line of defense;” when they stop working – they will all die. And the band played on…and on.
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Men Who Watch Porn More Likely to Remain Single
According to a new study, porn addiction is causing men not to marry: authored by Michael Malcolm of the University of West Chester, Pennsylvania, and George Naufal of Timberlake Consultants, the paper, which was published by The Institute for the Study of Labor in Bonn, found that “Substitutes for marital sexual gratification may impact the decision to marry.” “We investigate the effect of Internet usage, and of pornography consumption specifically, on the marital status of young men. We show that increased Internet usage is negatively associated with marriage formation. Pornography consumption specifically has an even stronger effect.”
“For Internet usage generally, all models show a negative and statistically significant association between hours of web usage and marital status. The magnitude of the estimated marginal effect of an additional hour spent on the Internet on the probability that a man is married ranges from −2.48% for the IV-probit model to −0.19% for the OLS specification, but all are negative and significant at the 10% level. For pornography consumption specifically, the magnitude of the marginal effect also varies across models, but again all are negative and significant at the 10% level. This is consistent with our previous findings that Internet usage in general has a negative impact on marriage formation, but that use of pornography has an especially strong impact.”
In addition, the researchers found that: “Pornography users are more likely to hold a college degree, more likely to have moved, and they also attend church less frequently…”
This all reminds me of something Pope Francis recently said: “So many projects, except for one's own sins, but many, many projects for mankind’s dehumanization come from the devil, simply because he hates it. And he is clever, so is written in the first page of the Genesis. He is clever. He shows things as if they were good. But what he really wants is destruction.” Porn is just another – a subtle trap to pull men away from their true destinies as either fathers, religious, or holy single men.
Link to study:
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Gay Lives Matter
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Lifting of the Cuban Embargo and the AIDS Virus Seen Nowhere Else on Earth
On December 17, 2014, U.S. President Barack Obama and Cuban President Raúl Castro announced the beginning of a process of normalizing relations between Cuba and the United States. Negotiated in secret in Canada and the Vatican City over preceding months, and with the assistance of Pope Francis, the agreement would see the lifting of some U.S. travel restrictions, fewer restrictions on remittances, and the establishment of a U.S. embassy in Havana. Of concerns to American physicians is the following: Cuba has the most genetically diverse HIV epidemic outside Africa. Almost all American cases are of one strain, subtype B. Cuba has 21 different strains. The genetic diversity is a legacy of its foreign aid. Since the 1960s, Cuba has sent abroad thousands of “internationalists” — soldiers, doctors, teachers and engineers who purposefully spread the propagandistic lie of Marxist benevolence. Stationed all over Africa, and, oftentimes, sexually abusing the local populace, they brought back to Cuba a wide array of strains. According to a study in 2002, 11 of Cuba’s 21 strains are unknown elsewhere, formed when two others mixed. Early on, in its effort to curb the spread of HIV, Cuba instituted mandatory testing and forced those infected into state-run sanitariums; these rather draconian measures have since been applauded by some in the US and Europe. Today, those newly infected with HIV are temporarily quarantined on a “case by case” basis.
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More Casualties of Gay Porn
(Pictured above: from left to right; Drew Warner, Bob Shane, Keith Anthoni, Troy Steele, and Tyler Regan.)
Keith Anthoni (’91), Keith Ardent (’92), Ben Barker (’95), Scott Bond (’93), Brad Braverman (’96), Tony Bravo (’90), Jeremy Brent (’80s, unsure), Arthur Bressan Jr. (unsure), Kristian Brooks (’06), Chris Burns (’95), Luc Colton (’93), Dave Connors (unsure), Jake Corbin (’92), Craven Cox/Donny Price (’10), Steve Craig (’90), Brandy Dalton (’06), Pierce Daniels (’95), Mike Davis (’86), Johnny Dawes (’89), Morelle DeKeigh (’94), Melchor Diaz (’95), Ken Diamond (unsure), Glenn Dime (’92), Ed Dinakos (’94), Geoffrey Karen Dior (’04), Casey Donovan (’87), Nick Elliot (’90), Lon Flexx (’95), Mason Flynt (’02), Brett Ford (’01), Roy Garret (’92), Alan Gassman (’10), Gordon Grant (early ’90s, unsure), Keith Griffith (’12), Matt Gunther (’97), Ryder Hansen (’89), Bill Harrison (’91), Kyle Hazzard (’88), Bill Henson (’90), Chuck Holmes (’00), John Holmes (’88), Kurt Houston (’97), Tom Howard (’07), Steve Kennedy (’95-’97, unsure); Thom Katt (unsure); Jesse Koehler (unsure); Tim Kramer (’92); J.W. King (’86); Jon King (’95); Chris Ladd (’90); Lance (’91); Lei Lani (’93); Jeff Lawrence (’94), Richard Locke (’96), Clint Lockner (’93), Steve Loignon (unsure), Lucky Luc (’92), Luke (’89), Terry Mahaffey (’05), Craig Markle (’94), Kurt Marshall (’88), Val Martin (unsure), Beau Matthews (’86), Satiny Miranda (’09), Jim Moore (’88), Wade Nichols (’85), Scott O’Hara (’98), Sparky O’Toole (’99), Al Parker (’92), Paul Pelletieri (’93), Jaap Penraat (unsure), Brad Peters (’94), Christopher Rage (’91), Tyler Regan (’93), Johnny Rey (’06), Lee Richards (unsure), David Rockmore (early ’90s, unsure), Rocky (’06), Nick Rogers (unsure), Joe Romero (’07), Jeff Ryan (’94), Lee Ryder (’91), Scorpio (’98), Jeremy Scott (’94), Bob Shane (’97), Joe Simmons (’95), Eric Stone (’96), Jason Steele (’95), Troy Steele (’05), Glenn Steers (’94), Mark Stevens (’89), Eric Stryker (’88), Scott Taylor (’94), Steve Taylor (unsure), Chet Thomas (’97), Jim Ed Thompson (unsure), Kip Tyler (’95), Marco Vassi (unsure), Frank Vickers (’91), Chuck Vincent (’91), Drew Warner (’12), Darryl Weld (’91), Josh Weston (’12), Chris Williams (’91), Robert Woods (’95), Joey Yale (’84-’85, unsure).*
* A reader sent me this list of gay porn actors and others who were off-camera who died of AIDS; many of those here are included in the Dead Gay Porn Stars Memorial, sadly, some, I was not aware of their passing - therefore, I have included the entire list.
May they all rest in peace.
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My Conversion Story - in a picture…
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| Crucifixion scene from “The Robe.” |
Oftentimes, I am asked to describe or recount my conversion story; this is a difficult endeavor as my encounter with Jesus Christ was not as much of a process as it was a moment. As with many aspects of my life, my conversion was not an Augustinian process of wandering, experimentation, discovery, research and resolution, but a singular instance of revelation. For this reason, I find converts such as St. Paul, St. Francis, and Alessandro Serenelli so compelling and the rather laborious and overly-intellectual journeys to God, that are currently much aggrandized, somewhat off-putting. Although I realize that everyone’s walk to Christ is different - those who tout their personal conversions often do so around a rather word-centered (Protestant) exercises in extreme-Bible study. But, what I have always found incredibly distinctive about Catholicism is its inherent mysticism - that indefinable that defies explanation. And, that’s how I came to the Church - inexplicably.
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Merry Christmas
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Hep C Becomes STD in Gay Men
Hepatitis C is an infectious disease affecting primarily the liver, caused by the hepatitis C virus (HCV). HCV is spread primarily by blood-to-blood contact associated with intravenous drug use, poorly sterilized medical equipment, and transfusions. The virus persists in the liver in about 85% of those infected. Overall, 50–80% of people treated are cured. Those who develop cirrhosis or liver cancer may require a liver transplant. Hepatitis C is the leading reason for liver transplantation, though the virus usually recurs after transplantation. No vaccine against hepatitis C is available.
Increasing evidence suggests that hepatitis C virus (HCV) transmits sexually among men who have sex with men (MSM.) Publishing their findings in the Journal of Viral Hepatitis, researchers conducted a retrospective study in which they identified a large group of HIV-negative MSM with acute hep C at a large, urban British sexual health clinic between January 2010 and May 2014. The participants’ reports about their sexual or drug-using behaviors typically covered the previous three to six months: 93% of the men reported recent condom-less anal intercourse, with 88% reporting both insertive and receptive intercourse; the men reported an average of 7.3 partners, with a range of one to 100 and a median of two; 27% of the men said they had had group sex, and 25% reported engaging in fisting. It is noteworthy that only about one in five of the men said they had injected drugs, because that is the main alternative way they might have contracted hep C.
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The Great Homosexual Experiment: A World Without Women and the Failure of Gay Masculinity
Every boy who is drawn into the world of all-male homosexuality goes there because he is seeking something; for the most part, he is pursuing a masculinity which he failed to achieve as a pubescent. This has been recently most demonstrably revealed by several off-the-cuff remarks made by gay male celebrities: model and fashion designer Colby Melvin said: “I struggled a lot. Especially when I came out, with masculinity and being butch and what it meant to be a man.” Gay soccer star Robbie Rogers mirrored much the same battle when it comes to homosexuality and masculinity while describing the actor he would preferably like to play him on film: “It’s gotta be someone funny, someone who doesn’t care and someone very masculine; someone you wanna grab a beer with.” In both of these men, masculinity is indelibly linked with images of how straight men appear and act; for, they define what masculinity is – even the first pop-culture gay icons, The Village People,” were amalgamated tropes of perceived heterosexual manliness: the cop, the construction worker, and the cowboy. To this day, gay dating internet sites are awash in the most commonly repeated phrases of: “no fems,” “no queens,” “st8-acting only.” As of late, gay theorist Niall Richardson from the University of Sussex, summed it up like this: “‘Straight-acting’ is, arguably, one of the most offensive terms of contemporary slang. To be ‘straight-acting’ is to be ‘masculine’ and the term therefore insists on essentialist ideas of gender in which masculinity is perceived as the inherent property of straight men while gay men can only ‘act’ or ‘pretend’ to be masculine.” Although, Richardson is rallying against this concept – it is a completely valid one. In an all-male commune, masculinity becomes hyperactive and inherently false. In the late-1980s and 90s, I saw this in the Castro with the continuing popularity of the 70s hold-over from the Tom of Finland mystique: leather-clad muscular men usually sporting a mustache. It was an idolization of manliness that morphed into something monstrous: symbolized by the lost male who sought out a string of dominant men to repeatedly take him anally – in an early visit to a bathhouse I witnessed a lone “bottom” with a line of men waiting to mount him. John Steinbeck explored the group-male-think phenomena gone wrong in “of Mice and Men,” through the eyes of a male character’s wife:
“If I catch any one man, and he’s alone, I get along fine with him. But just let two guys get together an’ you won’t talk. Jus’ nothin’ but man…You’re all scared of each other, that’s what. Evr’one of you’s scared the rest goin’ to get something on you.”
In simple language, a world without women is not a world of pure masculinity, but of masculinity unfounded, tenuous, and grossly self-centered. For, without the feminine life-force, masculinity is never fulfilled – it remains locked into a series of clichés. In gay men, therefore, masculinity is never realized. Eventually, it turns on itself and results in further fragmentation: hence, the seemingly endless obsession with over-particularization and fetishizing of various body parts from silicon-engorged penises to grossly elongated nipples. Amongst all of this, the human being is lost; ultimately all that is left is the body, and, in the end, it also destroys itself; for this reason, the gay male community is still plagued by AIDS and a cadre of new and more deadly viruses. The all-male world of gay men is physically, hormonally, and psychologically out-of-balance; the drive towards same-sex marriage, a uniquely heterosexual institution, that gay men once ridiculed as nauseatingly conventional, is a last-ditch attempt at restabilization. Collectively, the current situation has continually reached a point of singularity – a point in space where everything turns into nothingness.
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Porn: Satan’s Greatest Deception
“To a blind soul falsehood no longer seems falsehood, and the evil no longer evil, and so on, for the darkness appears to be light, and the light darkness. On this account the soul will fall into a thousand blunders in matters natural, moral, and spiritual; and what was wine will have turned to vinegar. All this comes about because of failure from the beginning to deny the pleasure…Since this satisfaction is slight, or not so evil, at first, the soul is not careful and allows it to remain so that, like the mustard seed, the evil grows into a large tree. As the saying goes, small mistake in the beginning, great one in the end.” ~ St. John of the Cross
Author’s note: Porn is the devil’s ultimate deception: it is an angel of death disguised as the greatest icon of splendor; case in point - 1990s porn superstar Savannah (aka Shannon Wilsey) appeared as a platinum blonde apparition of celestial proportions; I was completely caught-up in the aura of her beauty. So taken in was I, and the world, that everyone failed to see the growing disquiet and eventual melt-down that wiped the illusion away; the falsehood masked destruction, and the lure of sexual access hid the pain of evil’s reality.
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Pop-Music Magnate as Gay Boy Lover
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| In 2009, Geffen took his then toy-boy (41 years his junior) to meet President Obama at The White House. |
Music magnate David Geffen, who was instrumental in launching the careers of many pop icons such as Blink-182, Guns N’ Roses, and Nirvana, (in 1994, Geffen also co-founded the DreamWorks SKG studio with Steven Spielberg and Jeffrey Katzenberg) has a long-time penchant for pursuing teenage boys. According to new court documents 20-year-old Jamie Kuntz has been accused of stalking the 71-year-old for the past several months. Apparently, Kuntz and Geffen first hooked up when Kuntz was 18. In 2012, the teenager was kicked off his college football team after being spotted making out with the then 69-year-old billionaire in a press box. He told teammates Geffen was his grandfather. Back in the early 1990s, I heard from fellow gay porn actor Joey Stefano that he had been having a sexual affair with Geffen - who, then, was denying his homosexuality. Then, Nick (Joey) was incredibly vulnerable and emotionally unstable; his exploitation by Geffen mirrored his mistreatment by the porn-pushers - and eventually contributed to his untimely death at age 26 in 1994. In 2008, Geffen contributed heavily to prevent Proposition 8 from becoming law in California; not surprisingly he was also a large financial supporter of both Bill Clinton and Barack Obama.
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The Battle Against Porn and Masturbation is a Struggle Against the Powers of Hell
“What I do, I do not understand. For I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate…So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me…The willing is ready at hand, but doing the good is not. For I do not do the good I want, but I do the evil I do not want…For I take delight in the law of God, in my inner self, But I see in my members another principle at war with the law of my mind, taking me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Miserable one that I am! Who will deliver me from this mortal body?” ~ Romans 7:15, 17-19, 22-24.
“This dramatic situation of ‘the whole world [which] is in the power of the evil one’ makes man’s life battle.” ~ CCC #409.
“Examining his heart, man finds that he has inclinations toward evil too, and is engulfed by manifold ills which cannot come from his good Creator…Therefore man is split within himself. As a result, all of human life, whether individual or collective, shows itself to be a dramatic struggle between good and evil, between light and darkness. Indeed, man finds that by himself he is incapable of battling the assaults of evil successfully, so that everyone feels as though he is bound by chains.” ~ Gaudium et Spes 13.
Author’s note: All three of these quotations, from very different time periods, address the same situation: the battle of Man’s spirit against his flesh; for the world belongs to the flesh and the devil. And, all too often, it seems as if our bodies are not fully under control - and, our minds become slaves to the whims and desires of the flesh while our spirit remains practically useless to control anything. In the midst of this struggle, we push, pull, and writhe – as if we can solely will ourselves to chastity and ultimate freedom. It’s exhausting, and, oftentimes, we find ourselves still slipping into impurity with a resulting backlash of remorse and depression.
The only road to sexual sobriety is through Our Lord Jesus Christ: this is most effectively realized by completely placing our Trust in Him alone; frequent reception of both the Sacraments of Confession and the Eucharist, daily recessitation of the Rosary, devotion to St. Joseph, and a reliance upon the Prayer of St. Michael the Archangel during times of particular torment. This confidence in Christ frees us from carrying the burden by ourselves. We no longer feel alone, and slowly the weightiness of it all begins to decrease. For, as we depend upon Christ more and more, we also begin to Love Him in a much more deep and profound way – therefore, because of our great Love for Him we count less on those transitory remedies of sex and porn for daily relief and we rely upon Him; also, because of our great Love for Him – we desire not to offend Him: we do not want to look at porn and masturbate before His eyes. Instead, we seek solace and joy in serving Him alone – then, in this, we find True happiness.
*The above quotations were taken from Fr. John Bartunek’s “Retreat Guide.”
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The Gay Porn Stars Who Died in 2014
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| Evan James (20) |
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| Seduction (27) |
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| Leo Cooper (29) |
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| Chris Miklos (40) |
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| Cameron Fox (36) |
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| Ryan Morrison (20) |
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| Philippe Delvauz (24) |
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| Quentin Elias (39) |
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European Archbishop Comes-Out for Catholic Gay Weddings
When asked about the sacramental recognition of same-sex unions within the Catholic Church, current Archbishop of Antwerp Belgium, Johan Bonny said: “There should be a diversity of recognition forms.” He added: “We have to look inside the church for a formal recognition of the relationship which is present in many gay couples. As there are a variety of legal frameworks in society existing for partners there must arrive recognition of diversity in the church.” He continued: “The intrinsic values are more important to me than the institutional demand. The Christian ethic is based on lasting relationships where exclusivity, loyalty and care are central to each other.” In September of 2014, Bonny wrote in a letter to the Vatican on this matter. Including the fact that the church urgently needs to find connection in modern society: “Everyone gets to make his or her life with relationships, friendship, family and children's education. We should not deny that this existed within the church injuries and traumas. Too many people were excluded for a long time.”
Author’s note: This man is a scandal; for, the Catholic Church has not only condemned any sort of sacramental or official Church acknowledgment of same-sex unions, but also civil recognition of such false marriages. Here are some excerpts from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith’s “Considerations Regarding Proposals to Give Legal recognition to Unions Between Homosexual Persons,” published in 2003:
“There are absolutely no grounds for considering homosexual unions to be in any way similar or even remotely analogous to God's plan for marriage and family. Marriage is holy, while homosexual acts go against the natural moral law. Homosexual acts “close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved”
“Homosexual unions are totally lacking in the biological and anthropological elements of marriage and family which would be the basis, on the level of reason, for granting them legal recognition. Such unions are not able to contribute in a proper way to the procreation and survival of the human race.”
“In those situations where homosexual unions have been legally recognized or have been given the legal status and rights belonging to marriage, clear and emphatic opposition is a duty. One must refrain from any kind of formal cooperation in the enactment or application of such gravely unjust laws and, as far as possible, from material cooperation on the level of their application. In this area, everyone can exercise the right to conscientious objection.”
Bonny is grievously culpable for seriously confusing love, charity, and patience towards homosexuals with outright approval. On this point, the Church has also been abundantly clear: “Those who would move from tolerance to the legitimization of specific rights for cohabiting homosexual persons need to be reminded that the approval or legalization of evil is something far different from the toleration of evil.” In addition, Bonny is also guilty of extreme naiveté: buying into the current gay propaganda which paints a picture of homosexual domesticity and monogamy. Recent findings tell a different story: A study (2010) released by the Center for Research on Gender & Sexuality at San Francisco State University found that a majority of gay men in so-called “marriages” are not monogamous. After studying the sexual patterns of 566 gay male couples from the Bay Area for three years, lead researcher Colleen Hoff found that gay men negotiate ground rules and open their relationships as a way to build “trust and longevity” in their partnerships. In her study of gay couples, 47% reported open relationships; 45% were monogamous, and the remaining 8% disagreed about what they were.Three out of 4 people described non-monogamy as a positive thing, and said it gave them a sexual outlet without having to lie.At least half of those interviewed were married, having taken their vows during one of the two brief times when it was legally sanctioned in the city or the state.
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It’s a Mad World: Christian Parents of Dead Gay Boy Get Demonized in the Media
Back in the late-1980s, when I decided to admit publicly that I was a homosexual, the whole so-called “coming-out” process was inherently fraught with danger: at the time, gay men were collectively seen as perverted hosts of a deadly incurable disease; at best, they should be quarantined in their own neighborhoods; conversely, others, typically incredibly annoying liberals, saw us as completely emasculated and withering little martyrs to an invisible cause. At home, the guys who told their parents were most often tossed out on the street - forced to head towards San Francisco or West Hollywood; the majority - just decided to remain closeted until turning 18 or until moving out. Now, fast-forward to 2014, a 14 year-old boy with a rather severe form of gender identity disorder feels comfortable enough with his parents to express his thoughts to his mother. He wants to go through transition surgery. As a Christian, her reactions are understandably centered upon a religious point of view. And, he begins psychological therapy.
In my opinion, these parents did everything right: they didn’t throw the kid out, allowed him to live at home, and got him into therapy. For, they had reason to be concerned, for, according to the CDC: males in the United States are more likely to take their own life at nearly four times the rate of females and represent 79% of all U.S. suicides. Men who have sex with men (MSM) are at even greater risk for suicide attempts, especially before the age of 25; in addition, the pro-gay Trevor Project found that LGB youth are 4 times more likely to attempt suicide as their straight peers; suicide attempts by LGB youth and questioning youth are 4 to 6 times more likely to result in injury, poisoning, or overdose that requires treatment from a doctor or nurse, compared to their straight peers; nearly half of young transgender people have seriously thought about taking their lives, and one quarter report having made a suicide attempt. Furthermore, what parents would be considered good or conscientious for giving their child everything they wanted; would it be more responsible to do as the mother of this young man did, and advise him that it was “a phase.” Credence should be given to such testimonies as Alan Finch, a resident of Australia who decided when he was 19 to transition from male to female, and in his 20s had genital surgery. But then, at age 36, Finch told the “Guardian” newspaper in 2004:
“. . . transsexualism was invented by psychiatrists. . . .You fundamentally can’t change sex … the surgery doesn’t alter you genetically. It’s genital mutilation. My ‘vagina’ was just the bag of my scrotum. It’s like a pouch, like a kangaroo. What’s scary is you still feel like you have a penis when you’re sexually aroused. It’s like phantom limb syndrome. It’s all been a terrible misadventure. I’ve never been a woman, just Alan . . . the analogy I use about giving surgery to someone desperate to change sex is it’s a bit like offering liposuction to an anorexic.”
In addition, a study conducted by The Institute of the Health of Women and Children, Goteborg University, and The Department of Psychiatry, Sahlgrenska University Hospital, Goteborg, Sweden, found that 10-30% regret transitioning. And, while the gay controlled media has been quick to condemn the mourning parents as Christian fundamentalists, bigots, and monsters, the boy himself placed most of the blame for his suicide on depression and a perceived lack of acceptance from peers. In an internet posted suicide note, the young man wrote:
“At the end of the school year, my parents finally came around and gave me my phone and let me back on social media. I was excited, I finally had my friends back. They were extremely excited to see me and talk to me, but only at first. Eventually they realized they didn’t actually give a s**t about me, and I felt even lonelier than I did before. The only friends I thought I had only liked me because they saw me five times a week.
After a summer of having almost no friends plus the weight of having to think about college, save money for moving out, keep my grades up, go to church each week and feel like s**t because everyone there is against everything I live for, I have decided I’ve had enough. I’m never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I’m never going to be happy with the way I look or sound. I’m never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I’m never going to find a man who loves me. I’m never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning. There’s no way out. I’m sad enough already, I don’t need my life to get any worse. People say “it gets better” but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.”
The most telling line from this extremely tragic letter is this: “I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me.” As every gay man has felt the exact same way: burdened by an overwhelming sense of loneliness and isolation - we restlessly and often voraciously seek out what we perceive as love - anywhere we can find it. This usually takes place among the bathhouses, bars, sex-clubs, internet chat rooms, and dangerous dark ally ways of major urban areas; among other lost souls - who have been raised on the false dream of pornography - we confuse sex with love; one partner follows another; disease inevitably pops-up; and, after a string of usually meaningless encounters, that unsurprisingly fail to deliver the resolution we so desperately long to discover, we find ourselves back where we started: alone and scared. In a fit of heartbreaking inspiration, this young man saw his future before him - and, it was not the beautiful image he had imagined; in a spat of mockery, he lashed out at the pop-gay media blitz of “It Gets Better,” that has even co-opted President Obama, as he ended with: “People say ‘it gets better’ but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.”
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In my opinion, these parents did everything right: they didn’t throw the kid out, allowed him to live at home, and got him into therapy. For, they had reason to be concerned, for, according to the CDC: males in the United States are more likely to take their own life at nearly four times the rate of females and represent 79% of all U.S. suicides. Men who have sex with men (MSM) are at even greater risk for suicide attempts, especially before the age of 25; in addition, the pro-gay Trevor Project found that LGB youth are 4 times more likely to attempt suicide as their straight peers; suicide attempts by LGB youth and questioning youth are 4 to 6 times more likely to result in injury, poisoning, or overdose that requires treatment from a doctor or nurse, compared to their straight peers; nearly half of young transgender people have seriously thought about taking their lives, and one quarter report having made a suicide attempt. Furthermore, what parents would be considered good or conscientious for giving their child everything they wanted; would it be more responsible to do as the mother of this young man did, and advise him that it was “a phase.” Credence should be given to such testimonies as Alan Finch, a resident of Australia who decided when he was 19 to transition from male to female, and in his 20s had genital surgery. But then, at age 36, Finch told the “Guardian” newspaper in 2004:
“. . . transsexualism was invented by psychiatrists. . . .You fundamentally can’t change sex … the surgery doesn’t alter you genetically. It’s genital mutilation. My ‘vagina’ was just the bag of my scrotum. It’s like a pouch, like a kangaroo. What’s scary is you still feel like you have a penis when you’re sexually aroused. It’s like phantom limb syndrome. It’s all been a terrible misadventure. I’ve never been a woman, just Alan . . . the analogy I use about giving surgery to someone desperate to change sex is it’s a bit like offering liposuction to an anorexic.”
In addition, a study conducted by The Institute of the Health of Women and Children, Goteborg University, and The Department of Psychiatry, Sahlgrenska University Hospital, Goteborg, Sweden, found that 10-30% regret transitioning. And, while the gay controlled media has been quick to condemn the mourning parents as Christian fundamentalists, bigots, and monsters, the boy himself placed most of the blame for his suicide on depression and a perceived lack of acceptance from peers. In an internet posted suicide note, the young man wrote:
“At the end of the school year, my parents finally came around and gave me my phone and let me back on social media. I was excited, I finally had my friends back. They were extremely excited to see me and talk to me, but only at first. Eventually they realized they didn’t actually give a s**t about me, and I felt even lonelier than I did before. The only friends I thought I had only liked me because they saw me five times a week.
After a summer of having almost no friends plus the weight of having to think about college, save money for moving out, keep my grades up, go to church each week and feel like s**t because everyone there is against everything I live for, I have decided I’ve had enough. I’m never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I’m never going to be happy with the way I look or sound. I’m never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I’m never going to find a man who loves me. I’m never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning. There’s no way out. I’m sad enough already, I don’t need my life to get any worse. People say “it gets better” but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.”
The most telling line from this extremely tragic letter is this: “I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me.” As every gay man has felt the exact same way: burdened by an overwhelming sense of loneliness and isolation - we restlessly and often voraciously seek out what we perceive as love - anywhere we can find it. This usually takes place among the bathhouses, bars, sex-clubs, internet chat rooms, and dangerous dark ally ways of major urban areas; among other lost souls - who have been raised on the false dream of pornography - we confuse sex with love; one partner follows another; disease inevitably pops-up; and, after a string of usually meaningless encounters, that unsurprisingly fail to deliver the resolution we so desperately long to discover, we find ourselves back where we started: alone and scared. In a fit of heartbreaking inspiration, this young man saw his future before him - and, it was not the beautiful image he had imagined; in a spat of mockery, he lashed out at the pop-gay media blitz of “It Gets Better,” that has even co-opted President Obama, as he ended with: “People say ‘it gets better’ but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.”
.”
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Lord, help me to find in You what I was looking for in lust...
St. Augustine once prayed: “Lord, help me to find in You what I was looking for in lust.” So simple, yet so profound. This is the quality that makes all great Christian thinkers; and, which also makes all Saints. Only, St. Augustine was also peculiarly qualified to comment and understand such things as loss, loneliness, depression, and their worldly replacements – such as lust. For, he had known the pains of despair, and, had sought to relieve his suffering with the false remedy of illicit sexual pleasures. So, in this aspect - all our stories are the same: we feel an indescribable sense of lacking, a deep inconsolable need, and that which we inevitably try to self-satisfy. In our modern world, specifically in males, where pornography is held-up as the magical cure-all – boys begin their lives of sexual experimentation by becoming blinded within the haze of endless internet sex sites. As naturally happens, the body responds – and the rush of climax momentarily fills the dark and desolate spaces in our heart. Yet, this false balm is not soothing, but incredibly acidic: it eats away at our linings and creates larger and more cancerous sores. And, the emptiness remains.
In order to stop this deadly cycle of searching, we need to realize what it is that we look for in porn and masturbation: are we pursuing the image of the man we wish we could be; are we yearning for the masculine affirmation that we never got; or, are we just wanting love? Through a process of confession, renunciation, and reconciliation – we can come to realize that all these longings can be fulfilled within the personal God-head of Christ. But, unlike the false menagerie of pornography – a deep relationship with Jesus Christ is something altogether tangible and incredibly real: for, He will hold us in His arms; He will soothe our hurts; and He will give us those missing parts of ourselves – to makes us fully whole. Now, these events, or locutions, can happen in different ways to different people; for instance: St. Thomas Aquinas, one of the greatest minds in the history of humanity, was approached by the Lord in a very cerebral and mentally interior way (I am incredibly oversimplifying here), but, St. Teresa of Avila enjoyed an exceedingly physically mystical encounter with Christ – symbolized by the ecstatic “Transverberation.” Yet, others, in our own time – like Blessed Mother Teresa – who never got to experience the comforting visions she so longed for, but, who gained the highest prize by loving, and receiving love in return, from those who were indeed the likeness of Christ in the poor.*
To the virginal and pure Saints Anthony of Padua, Stanislaus and Rose of Lima, Christ appeared as a child; to those less uncontaminated, such as myself – I see Christ as a man of boldness, suffering, and beauty, but, also of indefinable gentleness and compassion; He is everything I lack; and, in Him, I am made complete.
*“Amen I say to you, as long as you did it not to one of these least, neither did you do it to me. And these shall go into everlasting punishment: but the just, into life everlasting.”
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Alone and Lonely at Night with a Computer = Porn Disaster
From dealing with my own porn and masturbation addictions as both a child, teenager, and young adult - for the most part: indulgence is often situational; or emotional. What does that mean? For instance, research overwhelming finds that internet porn viewing collapses during holidays - especially around Christmastime; even porn-powerhouse Pornhub found a near 50% drop in their usage on Christmas Eve. Why? Because, typically at these times - people are not lonely. For, even when I was among many of the social rejects of the 1990s: transsexuals, wanna-be gay porn stars (me), and emaciated AIDS victims; somehow we all found a way to get together on Christmas. And, it rather spoke to the power of Jesus Christ, that, even within all of us non-believers, the festivities somewhat made us take a short respite from our usual daily routine of perversity.
The lesson? Loneliness is the enemy. As the devil knows our weaknesses and will waste very little time in exploiting them. For instance, if we come home from work - feeling tired, a bit beaten up - if we are single, we are alone in our house or apartment; if we are married - perhaps the wife had a bad day too and she (and the kids) have gone to their rooms; that leaves you alone in the office - with the computer. You tell yourself, “I’m just going to read the news…or do some shopping.” You call out to your wife: “I will be there in a few minutes…I just need to check a sport’s score and send an e-mail.” Suddenly, there arises, perhaps initiated by an inadvertent glimpse at a provocative side-bar add, the need for a quick excursion into a blissful fantasy world or an immediate physical release after a day of stress.
The answer? It’s pretty simple…when you are feeling sad, lonely, or depressed - stay away from the computer or any other source of pornographic material: the television, the bookstore, or even the radio. Don’t be alone. If you had a particularly tough day at work - don’t go home to an empty house. Invite a friend to see a wholesome movie or to go out to dinner. Or, have a battle plan when you do get home: go for a walk or exercise, eat your dinner, then, have a DVD ready to watch; read a spiritual work; open Scripture and meditate with Lord; then - go straight to bed. Manage your time, don’t allow the devil an opportunity. If the demons see you occupied and busy, they will move on to an easier target - that guy lazily flipping through the TV channels or aimlessly surfing the net. For, a mind set upon good things, and set upon God, are of no interest to Satan: “…and when he shall see the blood on the transom, and on both the posts, he will pass over the door of the house, and not suffer the destroyer to come into your houses and to hurt you.” (Ex. 12:23)
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Joseph Sciambra on Immaculate Heart Radio
I will be interviewed (1/7/15) on “The Terry and Jesse Show” from Immaculate Heart Radio; to listen, go to: http://ihradio.com/listen/#web and click the Los Angeles Feed icon; I will be on LIVE from 11:00 am to 12: 00 pm California time.
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