Some of the language in the recent Vatican Family Synod is downright beautiful to the point of being poetic:
“Imitating Jesus’ merciful gaze, the Church must accompany her most fragile sons and daughters, marked by wounded and lost love, with attention and care, restoring trust and hope to them like the light of a beacon in a port, or a torch carried among the people to light the way for those who are lost or find themselves in the midst of the storm.”
However, from the perspective of a former gay man, other sections are very troubling:
“Homosexuals have gifts and qualities to offer to the Christian community: are we capable of welcoming these people, guaranteeing to them a fraternal space in our communities? Often they wish to encounter a Church that offers them a welcoming home. Are our communities capable of providing that, accepting and valuing their sexual orientation, without compromising Catholic doctrine on the family and matrimony?”
First of all, I am worried about the use of the term “homosexual” as a blanket category for all those who suffer, or have suffered, with same sex-attraction. Like those who have cancer, or survived it, we would not solely identity them with the disease: for, they are still Joe or Mary - who is person that happened to have or had cancer; they do not become their illness. In like terms, homosexuality is merely a condition, a mental disorder that can be treated; and yes, cured.
With regards to our special “gifts and qualities:” this did not arise from any aspect of our attraction to those of the same-sex, but because of the suffering we endured which generated the attraction in the first place. For instance, I have found that many of those with homosexual inclinations are incredibly empathetic towards the sufferings of others; mainly because we have endured much throughout our childhoods - either from abuse or neglect. Other than that, I am unaware of any other peculiar gifts found primarily in gays: in former days, before the onrush of the modern gay sex movement, many with homosexual inclinations oftentimes channeled their sexual desires into an intense dedication to the arts; the penultimate example being the supremely chaste Michelangelo.
The second aspect of the statement, but the most worrisome, regards “accepting” and “valuing” the homosexual orientation. Exactly what is of value in homosexuality? Nothing. Because the homosexual inclination is “intrinsically disordered.” (CCC #2358) Speaking from experience, homosexuality was indeed a “trial.” When I was in the homosexual lifestyle, not a single day went by that I was not completely preoccupied: my life became about a restless inner disquiet, a pain that would not go away, a desire for sex that was all-consuming, for it offered the only reprieve from the torment that I could not understand or even begin to discover its genesis. At that point, I did accept it, and I did value it, but, like all of my compatriots around me, this capitulation headed us deeper into a world of pure physical materiality that resulted in a further alienation from anything to do with God. The body is the highest deity, and for this reason alone, gay men have continued to put their lives at risk in order to bow down before the only higher-power they know. (While all other sub-groups have seen dramatic decreases in HIV infection rates, the CDC reports that gay men account for 63% of all new HIV infections and 75% of all syphilis infection in the US.)
Lastly, the homosexual orientation should NEVER be “accepted;” on the contrary it should be rallied against; as the only results from succumbing to the fantasy of homosexuality is hopelessness and death. As long as I live, I will never forget a dear friend who lied dying of AIDS; his wasted body covered only with an adult diaper; he looked up into my eyes and said to me: “Joe, it wasn’t worth it.” After that, I went straight back to the porn-shops, gay bars, and sex-clubs of San Francisco; for, the pull of all that was left unhealed inside of me was too strong. At the time, I had no one to turn to; the Church seemed patronizing and feckless, symbolized by the neighborhood gay-accepting Catholic parish; I had no Christian friends; and I felt as if the gay world was the only place I truly belonged. I saw no way out. Thus, herein rests my fear with the Synod’s statements: as they may well encourage some to go into the lifestyle; make it more comfortable for others to stay in it; and take away options for those who may want to leave; in addition, well-intentioned, but thoroughly misguided individuals in the Church will use the verbiage in the statement to further their own ant-Catholic pro-gay agenda.
Here, I think the words of St. Francis of Assisi (the current Holy Father’s patron) are most appropriate; as we must love our gay brothers and sisters, but we must also care for their eternal soul - and this can only be accomplished by proclaiming the Truth - no matter how difficult it may be to do so:
“…we know that the sickness of self-will is more deeply rooted in some and for these cauterizing is needed. Not ointment. It is evident that for many it is more wholesome to be ruled with a rod of iron than to be stroked with the hand. But oil and wine, the rod and the staff, harshness and pity, burning and anointing, the prison and kindness, all these have their season.”
Sorrowfully, I feel that the Synod has favored ointment over cauterizing, right in the midst of an age when our gay brothers and sisters are most in need of the loving, but stern and dutiful Father.
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