Original text of the “Relatio post disceptationem” (in Italian) concerning the question of a possible Catholic approach to homosexuality:
50. “Le persone omosessuali hanno doti e qualità da offrire alla comunità cristiana: siamo in grado di accogliere queste persone, garantendo loro uno spazio di fraternità nelle nostre comunità? Spesso esse desiderano incontrare una Chiesa che sia casa accogliente per loro. Le nostre comunità sono in grado di esserlo accettando e valutando il loro orientamento sessuale, senza compromettere la dottrina cattolica su famiglia e matrimonio?”
And the English translation provided by the Vatican:
50. “Homosexuals have gifts and qualities to offer to the Christian community. Are we capable of providing for these people, guaranteeing [...] them [...] a place of fellowship in our communities? Oftentimes, they want to encounter a Church which offers them a welcoming home. Are our communities capable of this, accepting and valuing their sexual orientation, without compromising Catholic doctrine on the family and matrimony?”
Originally, the Italian word “valutando” was translated as “valuing.” More accurately, the word means “evaluating.”
While I think the questions being asked in the “Relatio” are certainly noble and charitable ones, as a former gay man, I can relate with a great amount of certainty that: those who earnestly embrace and hold onto their gay identity will not be able to conform their lives with the teachings of the Church; in effect – they will demand that the Church must compromise, or radically change her position on homosexuality. Why?
Blessedly, I just got to attend a lecture by our own Bishop Robert Vasa (Diocese of Santa Rosa) on St. John Paul’s Encyclical “Veritatis Splendor.” One section of the text that interested me the most was:
“the man who wishes to understand himself thoroughly — and not just in accordance with immediate, partial, often superficial, and even illusory standards and measures of his being — must with his unrest, uncertainty and even his weakness and sinfulness, with his life and death, draw near to Christ. He must, so to speak, enter him with all his own self; he must ‘appropriate’ and assimilate the whole of the reality of the Incarnation and Redemption in order to find himself. If this profound process takes place within him, he then bears fruit not only of adoration of God but also of deeper wonder at himself.”
The first part of this citation expertly expresses everything that is the foundation of the gay lifestyle: “immediate,” “partial,” “superficial,” and “illusionary.” In the homosexual world, all that are drawn there seek a solution to the interior question of oneself: a somewhat unconscious attraction to the quick solution of salivation through sex. I found this fact often grossly and obliviously apparent in the gay male penchant for quick encounters within a public bathroom stall or amongst a clump of trees at the edge of a park. But, the rush was merely a bandage across a gaping wound – never really healing much of anything; just providing a short reprieve from the constant inner disquiet. And, even that instant of succor is an illusion based solely on the surface. This extreme swerve towards meaningless superficiality was one of the first things that struck me about the gay community: epitomized by the constant obsession with the top/bottom ratio, penis size, and the minuscule details surrounding the various lives of pop-singers and movie-stars. It was a fantasy world based on a gay social construct of false sexual freedom and a feigned sense of gay happiness. But, always lurking within this imaginary world was the constant fear that it would all be pulled away – symbolized by the gay paranoia concerning Christians, conservatives, and a few hyped-up incidents of homophobia. In reality, it was all masking the true terror surrounding the continuing epidemic of AIDS.
In the end, what disappointed and frustrated me most about being gay was all of this: its transitory grasp on happiness, its shallowness, and its reliance upon illusion. Yet, it was all I knew. Moving outside of those four walls, even though it all seemed to be crashing about me, frightened me – even more than the thought of contracting HIV. For the most part, I saw no other alternative. I was distant from my family, all my friends were either gay or gay sympathizers; and I had been away from the Church for so long that its existence never crossed my mind. I thought I was alone.
Another very important passage from “Veritatis Splendor,” covered by Bishop Vasa in his talk, was: “Those who live ‘by the flesh’ experience God’s laws as a burden, and indeed as a denial or at least a restriction on their own freedom.” This completely describes the gay mind-set; for, the body is at the center of gay living: the beautiful male body has become the new god; the idol to which we all bow down in front of. This came crashing into my reality, during a very early experience in the Castro District of San Francisco: I was in a bar, getting hit on by a cadre of older men; many were white-haired, heavily wrinkled, and flabby; my friends and I, all in our late teens and early-twenties, kept pushing them off and refusing their free drinks. Suddenly, a handsome and exceedingly muscular man entered the place; it was if Moses walked by as the crowds parted like the Red Sea. The man then took his choice of seats and proceeded to be adored and fawned over by every young thing there. Looking back, it was sickly Darwinian, a sort of survival of the fittest, reverting Man back to the animal world: the one with the biggest horns, brightest feathers, or largest testicles got all the attention. Then, because I was young, I accepted it. When I got older, and was prematurely wasted and burned out as I neared thirty: I understood that the body was the only means of gay expression – deprived of it – you were literally without a prayer.
Consequently, for any Catholic outreach to the gay community to be successful: there must be true change of heart inside of the gay person: a realization that God made them for more than this; that they are more than just a desire for the same-sex; that they are truly wanted and Loved by God - for themselves. And, herein lays the opportunity with the Synod: to hold out a welcoming hand to those, who like me didn’t know where else to go. But, once they walk through the door, they must be presented with the Truth – as I surely was by a kindly, but uncompromising priest. But, it only worked because I wanted it. I was tired, and I was willing to accept what the Church now requested of me. Before, anything even remotely Christian always smacked of prejudice and intransitivity. But, God had brought me low, and I knew that I needed Him.
For those who reach this place, blessedly, the Catholic Church already has an outreach for these men and women: Courage. If the Synod really wants to embrace, and Save, our lost brothers and sisters: the Bishops need to provide for a Courage chapter, or more than one, in every Diocese; educate the local parish priests about Courage and what the Church actually teaches regarding homosexuality; and then apply those teachings to everything from Sunday homilies to spiritual direction. Most importantly, we must pray. Pray for those lost inside the lie of homosexuality; pray that their eyes be opened; and that they may then know the Truth.