Neil Patrick Harris, like many gay celebrities before him, (see earlier blogs on Michael Sam and Alan Cumming) has revealed a lot about his life in a new autobiography, that, strangely enough, does much to bolster the argument that homosexuality is not an inborn condition. For example, several times, Harris described how unhappy he was as a boy with both his appearance and his lack of attractiveness to those of the opposite sex; though, these recollections are always veiled with a thin layer of humor; for instance, he wrote of himself: “physically you are thirteen going on nine.” But, since his early childhood, while almost ritualistically applying and removing makeup before a stage performance of the gay favorite “The Wizard of Oz,” he poetically explains the emotional and psychological transformation (“…the glorious illusion of performance.”) which took place while taking on another character. For, him, there is solace in that world of make-believe and fantasy. Therefore, what emerges in the book is a rather sad tale of a small and thin “nerdy” young boy, who enjoys dressing up, putting on stage make-up, and loves musical theater, that never really found, or became secure in, his masculinity. Even as a teenager, Harris remembered: “Your actual sexual identity at this time is a mystery, even to you. Especially to you. It’s not that you’re suppressing anything; you haven’t even evolved to that point. You’re not aware of anything.” Yet, slowly, primarily through his early involvement with Hollywood and the entertainment business, he is exposed to gays and homosexuality, then, it’s not so much a discovery of his sexuality, but a succumbing to what he thinks he is: “The ‘truth’ about a person’s sexual preference is often revealed through a long journey of tiny steps, and acceptance is one of the last ones. It’s an individual story for every person. There are unique personal prejudices in everyone, created by our families, our social circles, and mostly by ourselves. It’s tough to confront those things that you are afraid of in yourself. In your case it will take time. Time, and experience. Looking around and witnessing others living their lives. Interacting with free spirits more comfortable with themselves than you are.
But you will get there.”