“Lord, I, truly, toil therein, yea and toil in myself; I am become a heavy soil requiring over much sweat of the brow.” ~ St. Augustine
When we are exposed to sin, it is as if we become like the untilled soil, lacking any refreshment from water, that is constantly baked and hardened under the harsh rays of the blazing Sun. Finally, when a farmer does try to work the land, the dirt is very difficult to plow and requires much irrigation. The labor is intensive and time consuming. In terms of recovering from porn and sex addictions, we are the soil, and the field worker is the Lord; we are the dirt and dust from which He will bring forth new life. But, dead and dry soil can take years to come back; for, its energy and nutrients have been depleted and are in need of renewal. This churning process is always (at first) uncomfortable and painful. Yet, we must not get angry with God – as I often did. For, when the farmer turns the field, he is turning us: ridding our bodies of the pride, obstinacy, and lack of Trust that has marked our lives. And, we must cooperate with this action: through prayer, fasting, and good works; as the Catechism states: “Words are not enough; deeds are required…will he be hard soil or good earth for the word?” (546) Only, the toughest part is: there must be a certain abandonment that takes place on our parts – a willingness to be cut into; to be completely reworked; to be annihilated. Without that acquiescence to the Lord’s will, we remain forever fallow and nothing will ever come forth from us. We will be dead.