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…probably the worst time in my life; I was about as dead as a human being can be and still be alive; circa 1999. |
“Tell sinners that no one shall escape My Hand; if they run away from My Merciful Heart, they will fall into My Just Hands. Tell sinners that I am always waiting for them, that I listen intently to the beating of their heart... when will it beat for Me? Write, that I am speaking to them through their remorse of conscience, through their failures and sufferings, through thunderstorms, through the voice of the Church. And if they bring all My graces to naught, I begin to be angry with them, leaving them alone and giving them what they want.” ~The Dairy of Divine Mercy
Author’s note: Looking back upon my many years away from the Lord, I can now see how Jesus still remained near me – even though I didn’t know it. For example, every time I fell into the darkest pits of despair, someone rejected or abused me, or I wanted to just fade away and die – the Lord was trying to get through to me; telling me that the life I had chosen was only leading down into the depths of hell. But, I was proud and headstrong; I didn’t listen. God was allowing the Graces of His Love to protect me, but I was self-shielded from anything good. In the end, the Lord did allow me to completely wallow in the filth I worshipped. The torture that I prayed for, I got. My stupidity and lack of humility took me right to the edge of damnation. Yet, the Lord was still waiting, and He Saved me.