Quantcast
Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 1292

Musing on The Pet Shop Boys and the Gay Glamour of Destruction

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
...from the video "It's a Sin."
Holidays such as Christmas and Easter are always somewhat bitter sweet. I adore the religious celebrations, but I am oftentimes left with a feeling of sadness. I am never sure if this is a result of misplaced and prideful revelry or the genuine apathy that remains for all those whom I have lost. This Easter, I could help not help but a cry a little for several friends, who kept returning to my consciousness; all of which are dead: one from suicide, the other two from HIV, and drugs. I recall their lives, and then feel guilty about still being here. In particular, I had an exceptionally intense recollection of attending the 1991 concert “Performance” of The Pet Shop Boys. At the time, my friends and I adored them. I had a distinct admiration for lead singer Neil Tennant who, like myself, was raised Roman Catholic, but later, discovering his homosexuality, abandoned the Faith of his youth, acquiesced to the gay orientation, and then heavily criticized Catholicism as utterly oppressive. Yet, beyond the rhetoric, I always found a very strong strain of ambivalence in everything The Pet Shop Boys would create; starting with that night in 1991. This came rushing upon me during their sets that included a disco version of “Always On My Mind.” Although I was dancing fervently, the tone felt unavoidably sad, as if we were partying to a death dirge. This was solidified with their songs “It’s a Sin,” and “What Have I Done to Deserve This.” From these numbers, and their later remake of the iconic Village People gay anthem “Go West,”  I got the distinct impression that The Pet Shop Boys really didn’t believe what they were selling; for, like my generation, they were living under the shadow of the red-stained sickle of death that marked the rise of AIDS - ending forever the false dream of carefree gay sexual liberation. The happiness was all thinly masking a dire sense of fear and desperation. At the time, I couldn’t begin to understand it; I had to come to the edge of destruction in order to comprehend the situation I placed myself. For the others, I guess they never had that chance. Now, I sometimes hate myself for being so deluded, and for being hopelessly useless. Because, people died. And, for the most part, I stood by and watched it happen. Now, that awareness is part of my purgatory. 




Viewing all articles
Browse latest Browse all 1292

Trending Articles