“If your heavenly Father does not send you some worthwhile crosses from time to time, it is because He no longer cares about you and is angry with you; He is treating you as an outsider, no longer belonging to his family and deserving his protection, or as an illegitimate child, who, having no claim to a share of the inheritance, deserves neither care nor correction.” ~ St. Louis Marie de Montfort
From personal experience, I believe there is much that is true in this statement from Louis Marie. For, when I was with the world, living the life I always wanted, I had little to no crosses or instances of suffering. I ate everything I wanted and never gained weight, I partied all night and never got tired, I smoked and never coughed, I drove while drunk and never got pulled over, and I constantly slept around and never got AIDS. The devil had surely awarded my evil efforts. Yet, when it came time to pay, and I had lost my usefulness, I was stripped and left with nothing. Out of desperation, I turned to Jesus Christ. For a while, I thought everything would go back to the way it was; except – it didn’t. Here I was: chaste, at home all night, and reading my Bible – only, I was sicker, fatter, and more miserable than I had ever been in my entire life. I was annoyed and angry – I didn’t understand the Cross. As I got closer to Jesus, walking up the rocky and dusty road to Calvary, the suffering become more acute and intense. It was beyond me, but I was being purged; purified of all that had happened before. But, for years, I squirmed and avoided every little pain and inconvenience. Still, they kept coming. Then, I realized that it was far simpler to just throw my hands up to God, ask Him to give me strength (not to take it away) and begin to endure the suffering. Since then, my life has been much more peaceful; and Jesus feels closer than ever.