“None must be ashamed of the cross of Christ, by which he redeemed the world. None must fear to suffer for righteousness’ sake. None must doubt that God will fulfill his promises. For through toil comes rest; through death comes life.”
~ Pope St. Leo the Great
“Those who are ashamed to confess the Son of God before others, by failing to perform their works, will discover that the Son of God, as is recorded in Luke, will be ashamed to confess them before the Father [Lk. 9:26].”
~ St. John of the Cross
“Don’t be ashamed to discover in your heart the fomes peccati — the inclination to evil, which will be with you as long as you live, for nobody is free from this burden.
Don’t be ashamed, because the all—powerful and merciful Lord has given us all the means we need for overcoming this inclination: the Sacraments, a life of piety and sanctified work.
—Persevere in using these means, ever ready to begin again and again without getting discouraged.”
~ St. Josemaria Escriva
Regarding the concept “forms peccati,” St. Thomas Aquinas wrote the following: “The fomes is nothing other than the disordered concupiscence of the sentient appetite--specifically, disordered habitual concupiscence, since actual concupiscence of sensuality is a sinful movement. Now the concupiscence of sensuality is said to be disordered insofar as it is repugnant to reason, i.e., insofar as it inclines one to evil or makes it difficult to do good.” In my experience, this immediately brings to mind “The Catechism of the Catholic Church,” which states: “Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that ‘homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered.’” And, for myself, the inclination towards sin, especially sexual sins, has continuously intermixed with the emotion of shame: shame about my desires, my thoughts, and later, my actions. Even as I tried to completely bury the small mustard seed of Faith within me, and my instinctual realization that homosexuality was unnatural, with a plethora of relativistic, occultist, and New-Age philosophies, I never really felt quite right inside.
Looking back, for years, what kept me away from Christ – was shame. I stubbornly believed that I had fallen too low, become too rotten in vice, and too perverse in my obsessions. I was completely unredeemable. No God or Church, except for the master of evil, would ever accept me. Part of that, were the machinations of the devil, who wanted me forever chained to him. But, also, this had much to do with my own pride: the inability to admit that I had been wrong about everything, that I had been deceived, and, as a child, that I had been hurt and was in need for healing. I did not want to admit that I needed Jesus Christ. In my world, it was shameful to concede that I needed help, that I needed reconciliation, and that I needed Love. I had spent so much time in the gay lifestyle, being sexually “liberated,” making my own decisions, living my own life, fulfilling my own desires – that it created a hardness in me; a prideful self-reliance. When my illusions abandoned me, I was left alone – and I knew that I wanted God. After spending countless nights in crowded dance clubs, the only one left with me in the frigid cold of reality – was Jesus. I had been broken; I was frightened, and even still ashamed, but I wanted Him. And, to my great horror, He wanted me. It took several years for the Lord to wipe away the many layers of shame – yet, it started with a simple resignation of humility: that I was alone and wounded, and that I needed the Love of Jesus Christ.