As someone who grew up in Catholic schools during the 1970s and 80s, before the publication of The Catechism of the Catholic Church, I reached my teen years knowing nothing about Catholic moral teachings on such life-changing issues as sex, masturbation, and homosexuality. The only slight clue I had was when an associate pastor at our church, gave an impromptu lesson in our 8th grade religion course. The teacher left the room, and the somewhat fiery and unapproachable looking Jesuit started his lesson on the evils of masturbation: everyone was aghast. Later, I heard that our regular instructor was none too pleased and he was never seen in our classroom again. Anyway, at that point in my life: it was too little, too late. Since the age of 8, along with many of my friends, I had already when masturbating and looking at porn for years. I even remember a fellow classmate bringing to school a Penthouse Forum, and all of us read it aloud, accompanied by much laughter on the schoolyard during recess.
When the devil finally flushed me down the sewer, I desperately wanted to come back to the Church: but, I had no idea what to do. As ignorant and lost as I was, I knew enough to go to Confession. Afterward, I looked through my mother’s voluminous library and found a copy of The Catechism; that had been blessedly published between the time I graduated from high school (1988) and returned to the Church in 1999. I turned quickly to the sections concerning pre-marital sex, homosexuality, and masturbation. What I found was succinct, clear, precise, unequivocal, but strangely charitable. There was Hope; and there was a plan: a life of redemption and chastity. Now, it all came down to: How? Filled with fear, and seeing nothing in the Church: I decided to runaway – for 3 years I locked myself into the protection of the religious life; a safe enough place of refuge that I really didn’t belong in. When that ended, I was dropped back into the Bay Area, the last place I wanted to be, with all the same problems following me, and no clue as to my next move.
Through the Grace of Our Lord Jesus Christ, somewhere, and somehow, on the Internet, I discovered Fr. John Harvey and the Courage apostolate. Thankfully, there was a chapter in San Francisco. The meetings took place in a deserted little windowless meeting/storage room at the Cathedral. The place was about as welcoming as a 1950s H-bomb bunker. But, I didn’t care. I was among men who shared my struggles, and the priest was fatherly, soft-spoken, and incredibly caring. Yet, I could not help thinking that this was the very fringes of the Catholic Church. Whenever I mentioned Courage to any of the priests that I came to know, they all looked at me with a quizzical expression. Later on, when I attempted to bolster a Courage chapter in my own diocese: the pastors I spoke with were polite, but skeptical to downright dismissive. Most thought I was fighting a losing battle. For a while, I kind-of agreed and checked out of Courage.
While writing my book, I spent many days and nights in prayer, asking God to help me excavate the long buried memories of the past. One such recollection, that I did not share in the published version, was the experiences surrounding my friends and acquaintances who tried to hold on to some semblance of their Catholic upbringing while still embracing their gay identity. With them, I visited a Catholic parish that openly welcomed practicing homosexuals, occasionally blessed their unions, and even allowed drag-shows in the church-hall. I thought it all rather silly and moved on; as I was already fully entranced with the more definite and ritualized procedures and spell books of the occult. Now, I think what a disservice that form of Catholic outreach to gays is doing to both them and the Church at large. First of all, homosexuals are being deceived by the very Church that should be educating them, protecting them, and Loving them. Secondly, the lay Catholics who participate and condone these types of abominations are being neither open-minded nor charitable; in fact they have chosen laziness: they capitulate instead of actively seeking the Truth and then bravely and lovingly passing that on to their brothers. Third, this causes scandal and confusion throughout the Faithful because there is no well-defined enunciation of the very Truth which is plainly contained in The Catechism. And, lastly, priests who allow their flocks to destroy themselves, is a wayward shepherd that will one day have to answer for much.
Is there any solution? By embracing what the Church truly teaches is the only path to happiness and salvation, not only for those suffering from same-sex attraction, but for all Catholics. In my estimation, this had been already done by the Church, but only in theory, not in practice. To this day, although through the efforts of Fr. Harvey, who tirelessly worked for the Lord until the day he died, the profile of Courage has been greatly improved, the Courage apostolate remains very much under-utilized and under-appreciated. At the same time, sadly, the laity has steadfastly refused to self-educate themselves on this issue, with the majority of Catholics approving of same-sex marriage. See: (http://www.josephsciambra.com/2013/06/new-survey-majority-of-catholic-approve.html) The Catholic media carries some of the blame here: though they often appoint paid talking heterosexuals to endlessly theorize and proselytize on the topic, they rarely, if ever, truly expose the sinful and extremely dangerous reality that is the modern gay lifestyle. Because, as more and more young people become infected with HIV, HPV, syphilis, and other life-threatening diseases, the necessity for the Church, its bishops and priests, and the laity to be united, strong, and welcoming on this problem is all too clear. See: (http://www.josephsciambra.com/2012/09/the-truth-about-gay-lifestyle-and-lies.html) This will require leadership, which we have from Our Lord and from the Holy Father, but also education and humility. The humility to understand and accept the teachings of the Church; and to admit when we have been wrong.