Yesterday, I came to realize that the battle I have taken on is much more powerful than I originally thought. In my quest to uncover all that is ugly and sick about the pornography industry, I would often go to such web-sites as XBIZ, AVN, TheSword, and even Fleshbot. Oftentimes, I did get some very good leads for future stories, but over and over again, the advertisements on the these web-pages, the photos from the films, and the access to free video clips left me tempted. The constant struggle has left me physically and emotionally exhausted. Much of this is due to pure human weakness; and my propensity to sin in the flesh through the false beauty of visual stimulus. It also goes right to the power of pornography…to suck anyone in. It can sneak up on you, even if you have no intent of partaking. The last fault is pride; something I have struggled with my entire life. When I was in the porn world, I thought I could handle it. I would control it; not it control me. Then, I ended up becoming a slave. Now, by going onto these sites, I thought I was above it all. Well, I am not. I am still flesh and bone. And I have a soul I must protect. From now on, I am sticking to the more censored realms of Google and Yahoo. Here, I am very thankful to readers, such as Amy from New York City, who send me tips on various news items. It saves me a lot of time in research. But, I will have a new sense of alertness. May this serve as a warning to you all…about the malicious strength of porn.
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