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| The two gods of my youth... |
InMarch, 2013, a Washington Post-ABC News poll found that a majority of Catholics, 60%, felt the church was out of touch with the views of Catholics in America today. A CBS News/New York Times poll in February found that 78% of Catholics said they were more likely to follow their own conscience than the church's teachings on difficult moral questions. That poll highlighted several areas where most Catholics break with church teachings: 62% of American Catholics think same-sex marriages should be legal, 74% think abortion ought to be available in at least some instances and 61% favor the death penalty.
This disturbing data shows what a failure Catechetical Instruction has been in the United States. As a product of the liberalized Church in the 1970s and 80s, I can testify that I learned next to nothing during my 13 years in the parochial school system. I graduated from Catholic high school, not knowing if: premarital sex, homosexuality, abortion, contraception, missing Mass on Sundays, taking the Lord's name in vain, and so one, were sins; or were even wrong. I was taught to just let that little light of mine shine and to follow your own guiding star. Consequently, as a young-adult, I didn’t know where to turn. It all goes back to the day of my First Holy Communion: walking into the Church and singing “We Come to Your Table.” The song was all about us; as if our actions and beliefs could bring about the Glory of God. Soon after, we were handed a “Good News” Bible with those horrible little black and white lifeless illustrations. They reflected the lessons: God and Jesus were nebulous; more theory and thought than a reality. They were speculation. In high school, we volunteered for community service for a religion course credit; we also watched the film “The Breakfast Club,” and discussed the political situation in Latin America and the relevance of Liberation Theology.
Entering adulthood, God meant nothing to me. I had ceased going to Church a few years before. On Sundays, my mother would sometimes ask if I was going to Mass. I would say, yes. Then proceed to a local shopping-mall or make the hour drive to San Francisco and the Castro District. By the time I began college, Christianity had become irrelevant. It was merely a subject for study as it concerned the past lives of famous men and its influence upon historical epochs. Man, and my prideful self, had moved on. As for my day-to-day existence, how I lived, and how I related to the world, that was for my own inner-voice to construct. I was my own master. I controlled my destiny. Two big inspirations in my quest for a life-rule were the singer Madonna and the New Age movement. Both, seemed to decisively combine divergent streams of thought and ritual practice into one rational philosophy. My ultimate symbol became Madonna's 1989 video “Like a Prayer,” which fused Catholicism, the occult, and sex. Madonna was the tangible; the sacred at work in the world. God was a distant illusion. The allures of the world handed me the promise of everlasting happiness and peace. But, it was all a fantasy. A trap meant to ensnare the wayward and the weak.