After reading Fr. Gerald Coleman's article about the two professional athletes who recently “outed” themselves, I am left with a profound feeling of sadness. In very glowing and gushing terms, Coleman recounts the stories of each man's decision to publicly come-out as homosexuals. He defines these men as courageous and worthy of admiration. He wrote: “In the case of [the two athletes,] courage defeated fear, acceptance trumped self-doubt, and truth overcame shame.” When I was coming-out, I breathed much the same air. The ritual of exposing your homosexuality took on a quasi-religious experience of new-birth. But this baptism does not take place within the framework of Christianity, but within the sexual rites of gay culture. And this is what Coleman does not, or refuses to, accept. Coming-out is a defeat for Christ. It is when the gay man or woman completely succumbs to their internal wounds; to the childhood pains of the past. It's not so much an acceptance as a capitulation. And, unlike what Coleman states, it should not be received with joy, but with concern and charity tinged with a diligence towards action.
While I appreciate Coleman's obvious care and love for these souls, and all of our gay brothers and sisters, his egalitarianism is misplaced. For, I was once one of these confused individuals. I too grew-up isolated and lonely. At the time, in the 1970s and early-80s, homosexuality was going through a boon of social and cultural acceptance. When the AIDS crisis hit, there was again shame associated with a homosexual orientation. We were the disease carriers. When I was in the midst of the internal mental gay struggle, I saw no alternatives. The pressures of the gay-complacent media told me to “give-in” to my disordered desires. So, I did. Coleman finds this journey into the gay world a sort-of entrance into a state of psychological catharsis and eternal nirvana. As if the mere act of coming-out solves all problems. In reality, they just begin.
Interestingly, Coleman writes nothing about the increased risk of HIV infection, higher rates of STDs, increased prevalence of drug abuse, or the preponderance towards mental illness in the gay world. Coleman states: “When a person chooses to reveal that he or she is gay/lesbian, sometimes at great personal risk...” He should have wrote, that when a man or woman, boy or girl, enters the gay community, they are putting themselves at a great physical disadvantage. For, once the certain euphoria of the coming-out ceremony is over, the crash comes. Because, despite what the media and the gay-lobbyists claim, lasting love and monogamy are extremely difficult to come by in the gay bars, sex-clubs, and bathhouses. According to the CDC, Gay/Bi men and MSMs contract HIV/AIDS at a rate 50 times higher than the general populace. Research also has found that, compared to other men, MSM are at increased risk of: major depression during adolescence and adulthood; bipolar disorder; and generalized anxiety disorder during adolescence and adulthood. Furthermore, studies from the CDC have shown that, when compared with the general population, gay and bisexual men, lesbian, and transgender individuals are more likely to: use alcohol and drugs; have higher rates of substance abuse; are less likely to abstain from alcohol and drug use; are more likely to continue heavy drinking into later life. Is this what Coleman celebrates?
Although the statistics mentioned above are frightening, many have spun them endlessly in order to prove that the higher rates of promiscuity, disease, drugs, and depression in the gay community are the lasting ramifications of prejudice and persecution. Speaking from my own experience, I can verify that the years of taunting and bullying in school did somewhat propel the 18-year old me to seek out love and acceptance in the gay world, but once inside it: I was still unsatisfied. And, I found this to be the case for many homosexuals. Why else would the dysfunction continue after the epiphany of coming-out and after being embraced by the homosexual culture? The reason for continued unhappiness is because the trauma of childhood is still unresolved. But Coleman, repeating the words from the two men, finds that coming-out is “journey of self-discovery and self-acknowledgment...” And, “Gone is the pain that lurks in the stomach at work, the pain from avoiding questions, and at last the pain from hiding such a deep secret.” Only, it is my contention that the disposition towards same-sex attraction is not a gleeful revelation, but a Cross. A Cross, that can be carried with Christ, and with joy. For the Catechism states: “This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trail.” Therefore, as true Christians, we should never abandon someone to a life that is “objectively disordered.” But, that does not mean condemnation on our part. For, the one thing that Coleman does get right, is that persons with SSA do deserve our love and respect. Only, I part with Coleman, in that this does not mean acquiescence or celebration, but a willingness to fully take-in all of the Church's teachings and have the bravery and patience to pass them on.
Link to Fr. Coleman's article: