As I spent many years in a community that was antithetic to the Catholic Church, it somewhat gave me a unique perspective on how the Church is perceived by outsiders. Now, I look back and it all reminds me a little of my Old Testament namesake: for like that Joseph, as a child, I felt as if I too had been dropped down a well and then sold into slavery. I lived among the heathens, and then returned to tell the story. But, first of all, when I entered the gay community, I was still marginally Christian. Later, when I got into the occult, I hated the Church. Like many of my fellow lost souls: the Church always seemed more than willing to tell everyone what they couldn't do; but remiss on presenting any alternatives. It was the Righteous Judge; perpetually pointing the figure. And then there were the constant accusations by those around me of the Church's hypocrisy: of a clerical elite which condemned the actions of others, while partaking in those same perversions – only in secret. Most of the time, I didn’t listen. For myself, the Church had ceased being relevant years before. I thought, I had moved on. When the flimsy world that I built, came crashing down all around me, all that remained was a bloodied and partially decayed corpse, which had been my body, and a very small mustard seed of Faith. I knew I had to go back to the Church of my youth. Sadly, at first, what I found there, only confirmed many of the conclusions made by the above-mentioned who attacked the Church: in the case of homosexuality, I realized that the Church officially taught one thing, and for whatever reason, certain priests, said something totally different. It made me wonder about them.Because, one of my first guided acts, after leaving the lifestyle, prodded by the Holy Spirit, was to read The Catechism of the Catholic Church. I thought to myself, how could a priest diverge so widely from what was in that book? About two years later, after becoming acquainted with a diligent and serious priest in New Jersey, I discovered, while I was sitting in Catholic-school religion classes, learning nothing, seminarians, like this priest I was talking to, were being equally duped and deceived. I understood. Therefore, we all have a job to do; and this very much includes the laity. Instead of over-crowding the sanctuary, in a excessively showy display of lay participation, the faithful need to commit themselves to saving souls; but behind the scenes. The laity must learn the Truths of their Faith. Because, an uninformed and misguided Catholic is just as dangerous as a wayward priest: they both can misdirect a questioning heart. I can not even remember how many good-intentioned, but reckless, Catholics told me to go find a nice boyfriend. In their morose desire to be progressive, they unwittingly became instruments of the devil. What the Catholic Church needs to present is a united front of Love and Truth. Because, that is what leads people to the Church; they are seeking a safe harbor from a stormy sea. This desire to be misguidedly inclusive, at any cost, has made the Church look stupidly judgmental, ineffective, insincere, and weak. By being unashamedly Catholic, by combing our Mercy with our Belief in Truth and Morality, we can be radiant beacons in a troubled world.
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