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| Praying with St. Joseph |
The day before my appearance on The Howard Stern Show, I asked my friend, who was kind enough to accompany me to New York, what he wanted to do. This was Monday, my show-date was Tuesday, therefore we had the whole day free. It was an unseasonably cold, snowy, and windy day in the City, and, being a native Californian, the thought of walking about in all that chill left me with a feeling of dread. I suggested that we go to St. Patrick' Cathedral; as I remember Masses going on there several times a day. Since, back when I was living in a Pennsylvania monastery, I sometimes made infrequent trips to see my aunt in Queens, and would almost always make a quick stop at St. Patrick's.
When we arrived, by cab, the Cathedral was completely covered with scaffolding. But, thankfully, there was a Mass in about an hour. I was somewhat disappointed when I walked in and noticed that the inside was a bit of a jumble, with metal supports covering the windows, thick canvas drapes thrown over the pews, and workmen walking about. By the Grace of God, the sanctuary area was untouched. On the way, I paused at each small side altar and prayed for the Lord's gift of strength. Once I reached the sanctuary, there is a small Eucharistic adoration chapel directly behind the main altar. I prayed for awhile. Suddenly, I was filled with peace. My heart-rate slowed down, my mind was cleared, and I felt incredibly calm. As I was exiting the chapel, I noticed a line for Confessions. Wow, I thought, the Lord is truly arming me for the battle. I waited for only a few minutes, then went behind a sort of make-shift partition and confessed to the priest. He was quite and humble, but certain and strong. He was the Lord's general; he strengthened my resolve and gave the marching orders.
At Mass, I received the final resolution. I knew what I had to do. Afterward, at the somewhat hidden, but still beautiful chapel to St. Joseph: I prayed to my foster-Father in Heaven, the man whom I love more than anyone. I asked for his guidance and protection. And he gave it to me. For he was the man I was always looking for. He erased my silly and juvenile doubts, and replaced them with the Love of Christ.