The vast majority of boys who “come out” as “gay” do so after many years of porn addition usually steaming back to their adolescence or even into their childhood; I started seriously looking at porn at age 8. When I was a kid, in the 1970s and 80s, porn selection was rather limited to what you could lift from the local convenience store – usually Playboy, Playgirl or Hustler. Today, because of the internet, there is an endless variety of porn catering to every niche from bondage to transsexual. After talking with literally thousands of “gay” men, many are reticent or completely unwilling to discuss any sort of trauma they may have experienced as a youth, which probably greatly contributed to, or, actually determined, their homosexuality. Yet, they are frequently open to discussing what kind of porn they watch or watched when they were young; Why is this important?
It is my theory that men attempt to “heal” childhood trauma through the fantasy of porn. For example, men who felt that they were unloved or neglected by their feckless or absent fathers typically become obsessed with so-called “Daddy” porn. In this form of pornography, younger men are characteristically ushered into gay sex by an older and incredibly compassionate father figure; currently, this form of pornography is the most popular sub-genre in the “gay” world; incorporating a specific desire to see role-playing films reenacting father-son incest. And, this fixation is not porn-driven, but created by consumer interest; legendary gay porn director Joe Gage, who specializes in “Daddy” films, had this to say about the whole phenomena: “I did the first one — ‘Dad Takes A Fishing Trip’ — and in that one the father and the son had no contact with each other. They’re in scenes together while things are going on, but they did not touch each other. I did that specifically the way I did it in ‘Chainsaw.’ But then people called me and told me these deep unspoken fantasies and they wanted me to take it to the next level.” One of Gage’s “Daddy” actors, a curiously thoughtful man, continued describing the strange psyche around these films: “These guys are just constantly throwing themselves at Dad. His boy wants him to **** him. It’s fantasy. I look at it as fantasy and that kind of power play that most of us have fantasized about….And how many of us had wished we had an older someone to guide us and at least advise us and we were left on our own?”
What the actor said is highly based on the truth of homosexuality, that many, if not all “gay” men, secretly long for the father-figure as sexual partner; in other words, “someone to guide us.” But, within this fantasy is always the tragic realization that “we were left on our own.” With that in mind, boys going into the “gay” culture unconsciously walk into that world as noticeably lost and unloved - seeking out the affection, approval, and security from the father they never knew. Beforehand, most have already unwittingly reexplored that trauma, over and over again, by endlessly searching and watching various porn set-ups revolving about the sexually encouraging older male. When they get into the “gay” sex milieu, whether through social networking sites, or by the traditional route of “gay” bars and dance clubs, they will quickly discover a large cadre of men chronologically old enough to be their father, ready and willing to guide them. Only, as with viewing porn, these types of reenactments are just that – a false sort of gross Kabuki Theater; with florid posturing never really substituting for reality. In fact, the trauma becomes more deeply submerged; and the longing intensified.
Interestingly enough, there is a sort of comparable in the male heterosexual world with the relentless popularity of “MILF” films; Pornhub regularly ranks MILF as the top, or at least among the top 3, most searched porn terms: with MILF porn actress Lisa Ann as by far the most popular porn actress. Why? Similar to the “gay” situation, with the breakdown of the father-mother centered family in Western Civilization, men are increasingly raised, with half of all children living in divorced families, in female focused environments; often, with a woman substituting as disciplinarian and faux father-figure; in a small minority, about 2% of males, this sort of dysfunction causes homosexuality in a sensitive boy, while in the majority – it creates a heterosexual male with multiple hang-ups involving women: ranging from an unwillingness to commit (the “failure to launch” trend) to a semi-neutered male with a porn-masturbation complex who needs Viagra when with an actual woman; hence, the majority of men are fascinated with “Mommy” porn; a pornographic tableau that more often than not incorporates abuse and humiliation; for the men who watch, it’s a kind of reorientation of their masculinity over the female dominance of their childhood.