Porn director Mr. Pam had this to say about the men she works with in the gay pornography industry:
“A lot of the guys had a sh***y childhood, or were dealt a bad deck of cards in life…”
Former child star Danny Pintauro, who became HIV+ at age 27, explained how he contracted the virus:
“…as soon as I wanted to explore some rougher sides of my sexuality, I encountered meth…now, the reason I kept doing it over the years was probably because I had some stuff going on in my life that I was not ready to deal with, that I was having a hard time dealing with, but the initial moment, that first time – was because of sex.”
“gay” Irish actor Rory O’Neill said this about the sanitization of the homosexual image:
“Thats what I first found exciting about being gay - the underground quality and the outsider status. I definitely worry about the main-streaming of gayness. I am the kind of person who preferred Manhattan 20 years ago to now when it is cleaned up. I feel homosexuality now is a bit like Manhattan: it has all been nicefied.”
Author’s note: All three of these quotes seem incongruous, but they are intimately related; for instance, almost every sexually confused boy who grows up thinking he is “gay” – gains their first exposure to homosexuality through gay porn; I was no different. Only, as Mr. Pam remarked – the whole experiment is rotten from the start. Nonetheless, when, as children or teens, we see these amazingly beautiful and seemingly happy men, having all kinds of sex with no apparent effect on their psychological or physical health, it oftentimes becomes the template by which we base our desires and plans for sexual experimentation; next, you have the tragic story of Danny Pintauro, who at 27, like me in those days, had probably grown increasingly bored with the typical gay scenes and decided to move onto something more extreme; but in order to do the things you see in porn – you have to become inebriated so you can mentally, as well as just humanly, handle it; few can. Yet, and this goes to what Rory O’Neill said – that the “gay” lifestyle has been indelibly “nicefied:” presently a very benevolent and incredibly false picture of what homosexuality actually is has taken over the cultural conversation…leaving many young people completely unprepared for what awaits them; because, this is a lifestyle that sooner or later will break you down and eventually spit you out.
The above photograph of “gay” actor Chris Colfer, I assume was meant to be satirical; only, in actuality – its disastrously accurate; I acted out this almost exact same picture when I walked into my first San Francisco gay bar; and, when you are a lonely and alienated 18-year old, starving for male affection, you usually go home, or at least to the restroom, with the first guy that asks. Because, finally, you discover that there are men willing to hold you; most of the time – they are older, and they initiate you into more; a Swiss study found that: “The median age at FAI [first anal intercourse] fell from 24.5 years among men born before 1965 to 20.0 years among those born between 1975 and 1984. In each birth cohort, between 20 and 30% reported a partner 10 years older or more.”1 Yet this sense of superficial love all comes at a price: “…the risk of [HIV] infection doubled if the participant had sex with men who were older than 30 years...”2
1. First anal intercourse and condom use among men who have sex with men in Switzerland.
Balthasar H1, Jeannin A, Dubois-Arber F.
Arch Sex Behav. 2009 Dec;38(6):1000-8.
2. A Major HIV Risk Factor for Young Men Who Have Sex With Men Is Sex With Older Partners
Brian J. Coburn, PhD and Sally Blower, PhD (J Acquir Immune Defic Syndr 2010; 54:113–114.)